Wedding Traditions

A tradition is defined as a practice or custom. Although the way we live and love has changed significantly from years ago, the wedding celebration remains the most traditional rite of passage.

Traditionally, the betrothal, or engagement, is the time used to make wedding arrangements.

Parents are told the good news and formal engagement announcements may be placed in the papers. A betrothal today is a pledge to marry made out of love. In the Middle Ages, however, the betrothal was an arrangement made between two families, not just the bride and groom. If the couple happened to fall in love so much the better. At the time of the betrothal, a ring was placed on the right hand of the bride-to-be and a kiss confirmed the arrangement. The ring was transferred over to the third finger of the left hand during the marriage ceremony. The practice of wearing the ring on the third finger of the left hand appeared as early as ancient Greece, because it was thought that the nerve of this finger had a direct connection to the heart. Early rings were made of bronze, ivory and bone. In the late Middle Ages and Renaissance, rings were made of iron, gold and silver, and often festooned with diamonds or precious stones. By the

seventeenth century, the thin gold band came into vogue. The gold rings were often fashioned into symbols of unity such as hands and hearts clasped together, tied bows, and buckles. The romantic Victorians often included personal inscriptions such as Ever Thine. The wedding ring today remains a powerful symbol of a

couple's love; a love with no beginning and no end, a form of eternity.

The first bridal shower was reportedly due to a Dutch father refusing to give his daughter a dowry if she persisted in her intent to marry a poor miller. The miller's friends came to their aid and "showered" the bride-to-be with household items she would need in married life. Legend has it that bachelor parties were devised to raise a "fun fund" for the groom so he could still carouse with his friends even after his wife seized control of the household funds!

Marriage rites have been found in virtually every known society. The expression "tying the knot" comes from the ancient Romans, who literally tied the bride and groom

groom together with ribbon before the ceremony to symbolize their joining into one family. Many wedding customs in the United States are Anglo-Saxon in origin. The word 'wed' dates back to the early custom of wife purchase in which the prospective groom pledged money, cattle or property as the 'wed' or security to purchase the bride from her father. A bride was often married against her will. To help curb this practice, societies began to require at least two witnesses who would attest to the bride's willingness to be married.

One of these would be her closest friend, or maid of honor. A young Queen Victoria was the first to wear the classic bridal outfit in her marriage ceremony to Prince Albert in 1840. She broke with royal tradition (white and silver robes) by appearing in a stunning all-white ensemble and floor-length lace veil. The white wedding gown has come to symbolize purity, and the veil, modesty. Earlier forms of the wedding veil (not Queen Victoria's fashionable floor-length style) may have been worn by the Bride to protect her from unfriendly and envious stares. The color white, according to the ancient Greeks, was the supreme symbol of joy. June is the most popular month for marriages. This tradition can be attributed to the ancient Romans who named the month of June for Juno, goddess of women and marriage, who, according to legend, vowed to protect those who married during her month.

Ancient societies cheered weddings because they symbolized good fortune. An elaborate feast was presented in the town square and the entire village celebrated for days.

In Elizabethan times guests were presented with small bouquets of flowers tied with ribbons, which were called favors. Favors at a wealthy nobleman's wedding were more extravagant: jewelry, handkerchiefs, gloves and scarves, often stitched with the bride and groom's initials. These were the possible forerunners of monogrammed napkins and matchbooks. Wedding cakes are derived from an ancient Roman ritual in which the wedding guests would throw grains of wheat at the couple to promote fertility. Bakers eventually made small wheat cakes for the groom to break above the head of his bride. Guests

would nibble at the crumbs, sharing in their fortune. In the Middle Ages the wheat cakes were replaced by sweet rolls that were piled into a tall pyramid, over which the bride and groom kissed. A French baker thought to frost the concoction, thus creating the first layered wedding cake.

Saving the top tier of the cake began as a superstition. If the cake crumbled before the first year of marriage had passed, the marriage would face trouble.

By tradition, the groom's boutonniere is a flower plucked from the bridal bouquet. The tossing of the bride's bouquet is thought to bring good luck and a husband to the recipient.

The garter was first thrown in the 14th century to prevent guests from tearing at the bride's dress. (Having a piece of the bride's clothing was considered good luck.)

The French began the custom of "toasting" the new couple. At sixteenth century wedding celebrations, a piece of toasted bread was placed in the bottom of a goblet. The glass was filled with wine and passed among the ladies. The lady who received the glass with the last sip, would also receive the bit of toast; and the hope of good fortune in finding her ideal mate.

Wedding lore has it that couples honeymooning in Niagara Falls will have good fortune if they remember to toss pennies in the Bridal Veil Falls. The term "honeymoon" may derive from an ancient German custom of drinking a beverage containing honey for 30 days, one cycle of the moon, after the wedding.

The Victorians referred to the honeymoon as the "bridal tour". Trousseau is a French word meaning "bundle". It originally defined a bundle of clothing and personal possessions that the bride carried with her into her new home. A proper Victorian bride would include "12 of everything" in her wedding trousseau: nightdresses, chemises, stockings, gloves and hankies. In addition, she would bring with her enough breakfast gowns, day outfits, tea outfits, evening attire and outerwear to last her for many years.

Statistics show that 98% of all newly married couples take a honeymoon; the average length of which is eight days.

When announcing the good news, first inform the bride-to-be's parents, then the groom's parents. After that, inform your close family members and friends. Both sets of parents should get in touch

at that point, and meet if possible. The bride's family may host an engagement party where the happy news is announced. A toast by the bride's parents expressing their delight at the engagement is followed by the groom's toast in praise of his future in-laws. You may want to submit an announcement of your engagement to your local newspapers. (Most newspapers will send you a form to complete and write the announcement based on that information.)

Another meeting with parents may be used to discuss budget parameters, the style and size of wedding and the guest list. The number of people invited is traditionally divided equally between the two families.